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Managing Grief with Self-Care: Remembering Mom - A Week at the Spa



Check out the video on my spa trip on my YouTube Channel:


My mother's birthday, a day once filled with laughter, warmth, and her comforting/healing embrace has become a heaviness on my heart. Though she is no longer with us in the physical sense, her presence is deeply felt, her memory etched into the very fabric of my being. Around the holidays and other special or meaningful times for family I miss her so. During these times I feel unwell or like something is wrong in my body. It appears like my physical body feels the mourning before my intellectual self recognizes what is happening. Instead of letting the sorrow overwhelm me, I've decided to celebrate her life in a unique and meaningful way: by embracing a week of self-care at the spa. Just me, myself, and I.


My mother was a beacon of love and strength in my life. Her laughter could light up a room, and her wisdom guided me through life's toughest moments. As I reflect on her birthday, my mind drifts back to cherished memories—moments of tenderness, of shared laughter, of strength, understanding, and unrequited wisdom, reminding me of the phenomenal woman she was. My mother was more than just a parent; she was my inspiration, my confidante, my unwavering source of love and support. Her laughter was infectious, her smile, a beacon of joy. She had a way of making everyone feel seen and valued, her strength and kindness leaving an indelible mark on all who had the privilege of knowing her. Though the ache of her absence is ever-present, so too is the warmth of her love, a love that transcends time and space.


Choosing the perfect spa was crucial for this commemorative celebration week. I opted for a tranquil retreat nestled amidst nature, a place where the whispers of the wind and the rustling leaves echo peace. I chose the Salamander, a 5-star resort, in Middleburg Virginia. This was a perfect place to indulge in self-care to lift me while I honor my mother.

From the moment I stepped through the resort doors, I was enveloped in a cocoon of serenity, the outside world started to melt away. After settling in my cozy room, I enjoyed time in the Grande living room enjoying libation and conversation with other guests. I started to decompress as I surrendered to the healing power of self-care. I selected each treatment with care to contribute to the importance of nurturing both body and soul.


Throughout the week, amidst the soothing atmosphere of the spa, I found solace in stillness. With each breath, I allowed myself to be fully present, to immerse myself in the moment without judgment or expectation (practicing my mindfulness – click here for my blog post on mindful journaling). As the stress left me, I embraced the gift of the present, cherishing the memories we shared and the love that continues to bind us. Memories of my mother flooded my consciousness, bringing wonderful thoughts to the recesses of my mind. In the quiet spaces between treatments, I embraced the opportunity for reflection, allowing myself to fully feel the weight of my emotions—to acknowledge the depth of my loss, even as I celebrated the richness of her legacy. I decided to go to a very nice restaurant, off the resort, on her actual birthday that week, to toast and celebrate my mom! I celebrated mom with a five-course dinner that was exquisite. I lifted my glass to toast and celebrate the most wonderful and giving person I have ever known, my mom!



You may be looking for ways to manage grief and loss. Managing grief through self-care can be an essential aspect of healing. While it's important to remember that everyone's grieving process is unique, here are some self-care strategies that may help you cope with grief:


  1. Acknowledge Your Feelings: Allow yourself to feel whatever emotions come up without judgment. Grief can encompass a wide range of feelings including sadness, anger, guilt, and even relief. Recognizing and accepting your emotions is an important first step towards healing.

  2. Reach Out for Support: Don't hesitate to lean on friends, family members, or support groups during this difficult time. Sharing your feelings with others who understand can provide comfort and validation.

  3. Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding. Be patient with yourself as you navigate through the grieving process. Remind yourself that it's okay to not be okay and that healing takes time.

  4. Prioritize Physical Health: Engage in activities that promote physical well-being such as regular exercise, healthy eating, and adequate sleep. Physical activity, even a short walk outdoors, can help alleviate stress and improve mood.

  5. Express Yourself Creatively: Channel your emotions into creative outlets such as journaling (click here to purchase my Bible Journal) painting or playing music. Expressing yourself creatively can be a therapeutic way to process your feelings and find moments of peace and solace.

  6. Establish Rituals or Routines: Creating rituals or routines around activities that bring you comfort, and joy can provide structure and stability during times of grief. Whether it's lighting a candle in memory of your loved one or taking time each day for reflection, find rituals that resonate with you.

  7. Connect with Nature: Spending time outdoors and connecting with nature can be soothing for the soul. Take a walk in the park, sit by the ocean, or simply spend time in your backyard garden. Nature has a way of providing perspective and healing.

  8. Set Boundaries: Be mindful of your energy levels and emotional capacity. It's okay to say no to activities or obligations that feel overwhelming or draining. Setting boundaries allows you to conserve energy and prioritize self-care.

  9. Seek Professional Help if Needed: If you find that your grief is overwhelming or interfering with your ability to function, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor. A mental health professional can provide guidance, validation, and coping strategies tailored to your individual needs.

Remember, there's no right or wrong way to grieve, and healing is a gradual process. Be patient with yourself and know that it's okay to seek support when you need it. Some resources to consider:

  • www.churchescare.com – This site will match you with a caring, supportive, and compassionate person from one of their local churches or ministry partners.

  • www.helpline.com - Free hotlines for grief and loss in the United States.


As my spa week drew to a close, I reluctantly bid farewell to the sanctuary of the spa. My heart was filled with a profound sense of gratitude. Gratitude for the opportunity to honor my mother's memory in such a meaningful way. Gratitude for the love that continues to sustain me, even in the darkest of times. In the quiet moments of reflection, amidst the soothing embrace of the spa, I found a sense of peace—a knowing that my mother's love will always be with me.


This time was not just about self-care or honoring her memory; it was about renewal—a gentle reminder that even in the depths of loss, there is beauty to be found, moments of grace that point to the path forward. Today, and every day, I celebrate you, Mom—your life, your love, and the enduring legacy you've left behind. Though you may be gone from this world, your spirit lives on in the hearts of all who knew you, a testament to the power of love and a life well-lived. Until we meet again, your light will continue to shine bright in me, love for all eternity.


And as I step back into the world, renewed and uplifted, I carry her with me every moment.

 

Dr. Quita

The Quitassential Life 🌹 QLife Bible Group

Founder & CEO of Faith Not Sight: A Spiritual Journey

 

 

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